


Moony's Moon

by FullmetalFlameElric



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Marauders' Era, Snippet, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-05
Updated: 2014-11-05
Packaged: 2018-02-24 04:37:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2568443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FullmetalFlameElric/pseuds/FullmetalFlameElric
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James walks in on a rather... awkward situation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Moony's Moon

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LaFilledelaNeige](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaFilledelaNeige/gifts).



> So this was literally a prompt from my lovely girlfriend while we were discussion the dynamics of the Marauders. She's a genius. The last lines between Remus and James were all her. Literally, that was the prompt.

James Potter was a lot of things. Charming, charismatic, the most handsome young man in Hogwarts history (sorry, Sirius, but the truth hurts), but more importantly, he was open minded. Now, if one were to ask Lily Evans, she would tell you that James Potter was a cruel, cocky, pig headed ponce that wouldn’t have a single sympathetic nor understanding bone in his squishy pureblooded body. Most would likely agree with her. But as James proved one fateful evening in their sixth year, he could be open minded when the situation called for it.

And oh did it call for it.

For staring back at him was the whitest pair of butt cheeks James had ever had the misfortune of ever laying eyes on. The skin was naked and hiked high into the air, a set of legs spread wide to keep the lifted position. It was firm, James noticed, with a random mole placed just slightly to the upper right of the left cheek. But it wasn’t the naked state that truly horrified him. It was the lone fact that, in that small glimpse he’d gathered before he could cover his eyes and stagger back into the hall, James recognized that butt. It was a butt that belonged to a truly loveable (read infuriating) asshole.

That asshole was Sirius Black.

“Bloody hell!” James cried, falling heavily against the door frame and throwing his hand up to shield his poor eyes. “Black! That is more of you than I ever needed to see!”

A suspiciously kanine yelp sounded followed by a series of thuds and muffled curses. Among which, James managed to catch a few choice words about “curtains” and “locking charms”, and “supposed to be in detention”.

“Jamie! My boy!” Siurius’ overly happy voice chirped. “It’s safe to look now.”

Frowning, James shook his head. “No. I refuse. I don’t believe you. I’m scarred for life, mate! Blinded by your pale arse!”

“Oi! It’s a beautiful arse!”

“Sirius…” Remus’ voice sighed, sounding put out, exasperated, and fond all at once. James blinked and lowered his hand in shock.

“Moony?”

From the bed, Remus offered a weak, lopsided smile and waved. He was bare chested, the sheets tossed over his hips. It was still obvious he was naked underneath, the bones of his hips visible over the cloth covering him. To his side, Sirius was wrapped completely in the deep red and gold quilt from the bed, his shoulders and entire body hidden from the neck down in his blanket burrito.

“Hello, Prongs…”

James just looked between his two friends, opening and closing his mouth like a fish. It was a truly attractive expression (every expression he made was attractive. Shut up, Sirius. No one asked you). Now if only he could get his mouth to form actual words.

“How…?” Ok, so it was more of a squeak, but it was a start.

“Long has this been going on?” Sirius guessed, still grinning widely from his cocoon. “Oh, about five months!”

“When-?” That was definitely a squeak.

“Did we start dating? Or how long have we been shagging? Oh, about the same amount of time, I suppose. Well, a weeks difference. It was after a full moon and Remus was still aching so I decided I’d be kind and help him shower-”

“I don’t think he needs the details, Sirius.” Remus muttered, still the calm flat tone James was used to hearing as he tutored them on their history of magic lessons. If he was really that calm during sex then- no. No way. James was so not going down that train of thought. All aboard the No-way-in-hell train to Nopeville. 

“Ok…” James squeaked, pausing to clear his voice and gather his words once more. When he spoke again, he was extremely pleased to find his voice coming out as calm and collected. “Ok. Great. Really, I’m happy for you. Seriously, as long as you’re happy. I’ve got no issues with this. Kiss, hold hands, snog for all I care. Just please, please for the love of Merlin! Close the curtains and use a silencing charm next time you want to shag? I see enough of Sirius’ arse after quidditch practice.”

“My arse is a gift to the world, James Potter!”

“Yes. Sorry. We thought you’d be in detention longer. Our mistake.” Remus continued, still calm.

James nodded, relaxing a bit. “Seriously though, I’m happy for you both. But, I gotta ask one thing… What the bloody hell do you see in Sirius’ arse!?”

“My dick.” Remus dead panned, blinking once as he spoke, completely calm. James fell silent and Sirius froze, turning to stare at his boyfriend in awe. He cracked up seconds later, teetering dangerously on the bed, failing to keep his balance. His eyes widened and he wiggled harder, trying to stay up right only to fall forward and face first into Remus’ lap with a muffled curse.

James just blinked and looked between the two, shaking his head. “And that’s my cue to leave. Have fun you two.” He tossed over his shoulder, turning and walking out the door. It shut heavily behind him and he stood in the hall for a long moment, letting this new knowledge sink in.

“A plethora of arse jokes, and I miss the opportunity… James, you’re losing your touch.”


End file.
